either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
