its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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