My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
