I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
