I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
