Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
