ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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