she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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