My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize