Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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