An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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