I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
operation harelip BJ is a go
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
