Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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