he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
