She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
