Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
