I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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