Dual....:-)
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
