and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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