she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
