afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
