yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
