What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I still have a little drunk in my system
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
