Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
