You can't motorboat a personality
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
