dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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