Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
