I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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