So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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