my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
