i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
