i would punch a child for taco bell
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
