Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I think i got beer on your cat.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
