Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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