just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
