I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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