Someone shit on the floor
I think im going to throw up on grandma
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
