if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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