K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize