I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
