Whats the glycemic index on semen?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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