You're completely useless in the revolution.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
