I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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