i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
