She's JV to your varsity
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
