No awkward lesbian experiences without me
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
