kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
