He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
