i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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