dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
