i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Randomize
