Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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