He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize