yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
