I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
