My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
if only i could text you this smell
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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