i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
