he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
