I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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