I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
