um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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