spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
