Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
