I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize